Life Changing Book

I really don't even know where to begin with this post.

This book was the best book I have ever read. I picked it up thinking it would be a fun way to pass the time- a cute, romantic comedy. But in reality it ended up being way more than I had expected.

The premise of the book was a girl in her 30's who had never been married and was looking for men in every which where. Looking for a husband, trying to force situations that weren't good, the whole shebang.

Instead of it being a humorous book it was very, I don't know, I don't even know how to put it into words. I cried through most of the book. Simply because, this girl, it was me. It was SO ME.

I am so afraid that I will end up alone and never be married that if I see any male that fits the bare minimum of my requirements I go after him, and immediately have us married off in my mind, and try to scheme and plan how we can get together. And yes, I admit it. I google stalk. Don't look at me like you've never done it, in this age most of us single gals google the guys we meet (or want to meet) to see if they are worthy of our interests. But in reality. Its a tad creepy. And yes I am saying I'm creepy.

What really got to me in this book was that God was trying to have her follow his plan, his great plan for her, the love story that he had written for her and only her. But this girl was so desperate and so wanting to be in control (SO ME) that she didn't even think to ask God his plan or try to follow it. She decided to do things all on her own. And all the way through this book you see her trying to do things her way and totally falling on her face and going through all this heartbreak and pain. All which could have been avoided if she would have given up her control and need for control and just trusted in God and waited to see what his plan was for her.

As I read that and saw what she went through my mind traveled back across the past several years, and the guys that I have fallen for (thankfully most of them I didn't date!) that were so totally wrong for me and most of which all broke my heart. Most didn't even know they broke my heart. I put myself through so much pain and despair trying to make what I WANT work.

What I want isn't to chase a guy and to have to scheme how to meet him and have a relationship with him. I remember my old youth pastors wife Julie telling me, "How you get them in how you keep them" and boy howdy is that true.

God really broke my heart for him Weds night and everyday since then I'm still reeling from what I've learned and learning more. Instead of being scared, or afraid that I will have no control over my life and oh no what if i never get married? I'm more at peace than ever before.

I've always been a romantic and I've always wanted the fairy tale of someone to meet me and fall madly in love with me. And you know what.. I"m going to wait on that. No more google stalking, no more trying to meet and greet and charm, none of that. From now on, if God wants a guy in my life. HE, GOD, is literally going to have to hit me over the head and drop this fellow in my lap. I'm not pursing. Not anymore. Hopefully never again. Nope, I'm going to be pursued. And if no one wants to pursue me, well thats good too. I've actually realized lately that I enjoy being single and alone. I really like my quiet time. I love being able to do what I want to do when i want to do. After I get married and have kids I'm not going to have an evening to read or do whatever I want, so I'm going to be selifsh and cherish it now while I have it. Live in the moment so to speak.

There is so much more I could say about this book and what God is doing in me but I will save that for another post.

If there are any single gals reading this blog, seriously, get this book, READ this book. Maybe even twice. And see if you don't see yourself in it too..

<3