So here are some of his best. Start at the bottom and work your way up!
And now here’s the latest information from Storm Center 2010! This just in, there is a SUN! Film at 11.
Here’s a score from last night’s George Carlin Memorial Tournament, 6.
Today's morning update is brought to you by the Floyd’s of Lyndon Insurance Agency. With Spring just around the corner – yeah, I know that’s the funniest thing I’ve said, yet – Marge wants to remind everyone to make sure their Hail coverage is up to date. Floyd’s of Lyndon – We’re in your neighborhood so don’t lie about that dent. Floyd’s – if you can’t explain it to your Mom, don’t bother with us.
Good Morning, Ivy Techsters! Storm Center 2010 after a brief break due to caffeine deprivation and a rush on Phyllis' Presumptuous Pastries which disrupted Storm Center activity. Today's morning update is brought to you by Phil's Phantastic Phuel Oil. All this snow got you down? Are you wondering if the sun will ever shine again or if barring that, if the temperature will ever get above 20. Why not give Phil a call and have him Phil your oil tank with his specially formulated Phuel Oil. It's specially scented with suntan oil to evoke warm summer memories! Or try his new hot fudge or chicken soup varieties to lighten or comfort your mood! That's Phil's Phantastic Phuel Oil. Now on to today's closures!
Here’s the latest info from Storm Center 2010 on the Storm of the Six Week Old Decade! The Storm Center has literally received emails from all over the country. From Cleveland where anything under five feet of snow is considered a dusting to Seattle where a snowflake causes mass panic. They’d activate the Tsunami evacuation plan but they’re too scared to drive in the snowflake. I rode out the Nisqually quake on the fourth floor of a wildly swaying building while watching I-405 and I-90 undulate like ocean waves. When the shaking was over, we picked up the white board eraser which had fallen to the floor and resumed our meeting. But a flake of snow and Seattle panics! Now on to the latest update
Goooood Moooooorning Ivy Tech from Storm Center 2010! This just in, Ivy Tech has sense of humor after all! It was feared Ivy's humor was a victim of budget cuts but someone realized the convertible was paid for and humor was free. So, as long as I don't use any really funny font types, gosh knows what that could start!, and don't make fun of anyone's grandmother or cocker spaniel, I'm baaaack!!!!! Now on to the serious stuff!!!!
A big thank you to all who brightened my day with your often funny and appreciative responses to my attempts at humor. But, given the serious nature of these alerts I have been asked to drop the humor and stick to the facts. Since someone has to pay for that convertible, it's in my best interest to comply. So thanks, everyone but, we'll now return to our regular programming.
Live from Weather Central brought to you by – this year’s budget cuts. In the interest of saving money, the governor has provided this storm to reduce expenses along with this reminder - Will the last person leaving Ivy , please remember to turn out the lights.
And now the latest from Storm Center 2010 - scientists have found no link between a Colts loss in the Super Bowl and the extreme weather occurring in the midwest and East Coast. In digging deeper, however, we discovered these scientists were Patriots fans thus throwing their research for a 10 yard loss!
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