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NC Vacation- Baby Ruth the Nazi Flight Attendant

Do you know that verse about Pride cometh before the fall? I really should commit that to memory because I seem to have an issue.

Thursday night as we were driving to the airport Dr Avery was making fun of me for my big purse and how full it was. I informed him that I was a girl and had alot of stuff I needed, plus I was only taking a carry on so I had to throw last minute things into my purse and to hush and just drive.

That conversation came back to haunt me a little while later.

I boarded my first flight and got comfortable in the window seat alongside a businessman. I shoved my stuffed carry on under the seat in front of me and was delighted when I was able to put my feet on it as I sat. I was really quite comfortable. I sat my purse (aka my pony express bag as my Chiropractor calls it) beside the window and my foot and prepared for the flight.

Everything was fine untill the Nazi Flight Attendant came by. I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he was having a bad day. At least I hope he was because if that was his normal personality, well thats just sad.

He stopped at our row and informed me that my carry on bag had to be fully under the seat. So after much manuvering by me and my seat mate we moved both of our bags and fit them under. Then he told me that my bag had to be under the seat. Well of course it wouldn't go under the seat in front of me so I shoved it behind me. He then informed me that it was against the rules to put things behind you. I have no clue why. I was still trying to figure out why the floor area had to be clean right by the window. I mean was someone going to walk into my row while i was flying and ask to look out my window? um. no.

He then tells me to give him my purse and he will stow it. not very politely mind you. But I gave it over. I then realized he was walking away with it and i was on an hour and a half flight and needed my magazines and ipod! So I politely asked if i could get a few items out before he stowed it away. With a very large sigh he gave it back to me.

The magazines were easy but I could not find my ipod for the life of me and he was staring at me which made me even more flustered, I HATE it when people stare at me! I apologized and he said "Oh don't worry, We're only just waiting to take off because of you, take your time getting what you want out of your bag" This was with intense sarcasm and rudeness!!

I turned beet red and really got flustered, I was determined to find my ipod then!

So I am still rustling through my pony express bag and he very dramatically sighs again, turns to the entire packed plane and says "folks, we will take off once this woman decides what she needs from her purse that needs stowed"

oh.my.word.

at that moment i began praying for Jesus to appear. Or to hide under my seat in the space that I wasn't allowed to put my purse in.

Let me tell you, when you are 5'9" have a head the size of a cantalope and have enough curly hair for three people which is festooned with a big pink sparkly flower, it is really HARD to be inconspicuous!!!!!!!

FINALLY by the Grace of God and God alone I found my ipod and meekly gave him back my purse as I said Thank you.

He took my purse and I sat there dying of humiliation. Untill I realized I had no idea where he had taken my purse! (the good news is that when we landed someone else knew where it was and what it looked like and that it belonged to me thanks to my on flight humiliation.)

He went up and down the aisle for one last check and stops at the row behind us. The following ensued.

"Sir, You need to turn off your portable cellular device. In fact you were told to turn off that device over 5 minutes ago. Since you did not heed that warning and still have your cellular device on I am going to stand here and watch you untill you turn it off"

I tried so hard not to giggle. I really did.

But I made the mistake of looking over to my seat mate who had been chatting with me and was quite cool, we made eye contact and both lost it. I don't think the flight attendant appreciated it at all.

After we recovered my seat mate patted my arm and said "Look, now don't you feel better? You're not the only one!" hahahahahahahah hilarious!!

I got off the plane and went to catch my next flight and was stopped in the bathroom and at Jamba Juice by people who were on my plane who wanted to tell me they were sorry for how he treated me. And, all of them thought my purse was super cute. :)

I will also mention that after I got off the flight I realized I had left my cell phone on. If he had known that I'm pretty sure I would have been arrested and sent to jail!

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