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Beauty from Ashes...

Its amazing to me how God can show his love for me even in painful situations. God is good and he SHINES in the hard times. I had something happen last week that a year ago would have broke me. I would have been so miserable and in a "STATE" as my Mom would put it. But this time I wasn't. By the end of the week I was darn near JOYFUL which truthfully almost freaked me out a little bit!

Its awesome to see how much God has been working in my life and is changing me and molding me into his own. And how he is teaching me complete dependance upon him and how to find my happiness and peace within him. I've always tried to but I think being such a people pleaser I have tried in the past to find my happiness from others and what they thought of me. Which is pretty prideful. (When I catch up blogging on Bible Study we'll talk about that ;) )

But through the past year I feel like God has really been working on me and in me and opening my eyes to his blessings. I originally thought man, this stinks! This crap is happening the DAY after my Birthday??!!! (Y'all know how much I LOVE my Birthday!) but it was in God's perfect timing because for 7 days straight, Thursday to Thursday, my friends took me out to dinner, had me over at their houses, ect we celebrated my Birthday every single day sometimes twice a day! Let me tell you I was EXHAUSTED by the time Friday rolled around! But I was shown so much LOVE in that week. It was really overwhelming. And I realized that God had done that for me. He knew what was going to happen and he padded that week so that for 7 days I would be with almost every friend I have in town being celebrated for who I am. I thought that was pretty awesome!!

I have to say as well. I am so thankful for my Bible Study ladies. I know I say this everytime but seriously if you are not in a bible study with other women you need to hustle and get in one! They have been such an encouragement to me through the past several years since we started and I just can't describe what they mean to me. I came in to church Weds night and Sheryl asked me how I was and with one look at my face she could tell not well. I said I'm not doing so well and she picked up her stuff and came over and sat down by me and she, Bryna and Michelle surrounded me for the entire evening.

They put their arms around me when I began to cry during the prayer and just covered me with so much love. Its an amazing feeling when you can be somewhere and literally feel people praying for you. I could feel the three of them praying for me the entire time, and honestly that was partially why I broke down crying!! Prayer is such a powerful thing and its amazing when someone cares enough about you to pray for you. And these ladies, and the others have done that for me for years now. I just love them.

I was talking to Sherita and she said something that opened my eyes. She said that before God created me he knew this was going to happen and he put things in place to comfort me and make me feel loved. And I just thought about everything that had went on and all these special surprises, My brother and sil driving 5 hours in snow just to spend less than 24 hours with me for my birthday because they love me and knew how much I wanted to see my nephew Benjamin. And my parents keeping it a secret and sneaking to get me home. Just to surprise me and make me feel special and loved. And boy did I!!

I also had an AHA moment as Oprah would say it when I thought about my friend Jordan. Somehow I stumbled upon her blog, I don't even remember how or when and I started reading, then commenting, then we became fb friends and started to talk and she started becoming somewhat of a mentor to me. She did my blog design and my business logo and has become a sounding board. And she was really helpful to me during my egregious moment. And I realized that God in his infinite wisdom put her in my life to be a blessing and a help to me through this. That really gave me chills.

I know that Jesus loves me, I mean he died on the cross for me, thats LOVE!! But I think sometimes I take it for granted or really don't even think or realize the magnitude of his love and care for me. This past week really showed me that and it was amazing. Instead of feeling broken or rejected or just sad, at the end of the week I felt Joyful and LOVED. So incredibally loved. By my Saviour, by my family and by my friends.

Comments

Jordy Liz said…
that is so sweet of you to say those things. i have been amazed the way God has worked in my own life through the blogging world. i'm lucky to know you!

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