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O Glorious Day

Easter time is a really meaningful and special time for me. I look forward to it each year really more than any Holiday. I do love Christmas, but Easter just has a deeper meaning for me.

I grew up in a Christian home and got saved at an early age. I was very active in my church as a teenager and then went to a Christian college for three years.

There is a ton that I could say about the college and my experience there but that's not what this post is about. I will say that when I left the college I was in a state of rebellion. What I had seen of Christianity there had really soured me on the whole deal. I still believed in God of course but I just wasn't interested in church or anything. I wanted to go my own way and do my own thing.

My rebellion lasted untill New Years Day 2004. From coming home from the restrictive college in May of 2003 and then moving away from my family into my first apartment in Lafayette and being totally on my own and totally free I went nuts. I did things that I still regret and have a hard time forgiving myself, even though Christ has forgiven me, I regret those months so much. He saved me from doing things that would have totally broken me as a person but I was not good during that phase at all.

New Years day 2004 was when God finally broke through the walls in my heart that I had built up with my sin and showed me what I was headed for.

After that weekend I started attending the church I am attending now and I really feel like I started to meet God and find out truly and wholly who he was for the first time in my 21 years of life.

2004 was the year that Passion of the Christ came out in the movie theatre. There was alot of talk about the movie in Christian circles and at my new church Pastor Whips did a several month sermon leading up to Easter about The Passion of the Christ.

I was literally blown away every Sunday when I went to church. I remember that being such an exciting time in my walk with God, in a way it really felt like I was a new believer because I was finding out about him in a way I had never before. I don't think there was a Sunday that went by that I wouldn't cry during church it was just that powerful. Its hard to explain but it just became so REAL to me.

I think growing up in church and being around it all the time had not numbed me, but I knew the stories and that's kind of what they were to me, stories. I hadn't connected on the deeper level and really thought about Jesus as a man who walked the earth. That all changed during that sermon series and Easter time that year.

My brother and I went to see the movie and seeing an actor portray it on screen gave me the visualization that I needed to tie everything in. I sobbed through that movie. For the first time in my life I sat and thought about how horrific it was for Jesus to be tortured and beaten. And he did it out of love for me. What did I do to deserve that? Nothing.

I love my family and my friends and I say I'd do anything for them but really would I? I don't even want to do stuff sometimes if it involves me getting out of bed early. Let alone be beaten and tortured and have thorns shoved in my entire head.

This year I've really been thinking about the Crucifixion more than normal. And what he must have felt like. I've especially been thinking about the nails in his hands. The other night I was plucking stray eyebrows and my tweezers slipped and gouged my hand.

For several days now I have had a tiny hole in my hand and its hurt. I've been looking at it thinking of how much it hurt when I did it, but the pain went away. Jesus was nailed to a cross and he hung there. For hours. And he knew he was going to die. He knew it all was happening because it was in God's perfect plan. I just can't really wrap my head around that.

In some ways I guess I'm glad I hurt my hand because all week long it has been a reminder and had me reflecting more than normal.

Tonight I will go to the Good Friday service at my church. The same church that showed me the True Love of Christ all those years ago. I will reflect on his suffering and why he did it for me. And for you.

And on Sunday

I will rejoice.

Because the story does not end with him dying for us and our sins.

It only begins- Because he rose again.

Alleluia.

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